Bearded Babes

Photos, clockwise from bottom left: Rand Fishkin of SEO Moz (and reigning Sexy SEO Boy of the Month); friend to many, man of my dreams Mr. Matt Cutts; the always enthusiastic Jim Boykin; her Majesty's Search Knight in Spidery Armour (I use extra vowels just for him), protector of the empire of search, Sir Ammon Johns; new SEOmoz hottie Jeff Pollard (hi Jeff ;))

Maybe you've stumbled across this blog looking for useful advice about search engine optimization. Of course you stuck around for the eye candy, or perhaps you aspire to be a Sexy Search Boy someday. While I try to keep this blog focused, I'm going to take this opportunity to post some useful advice.

Great content with keyphrases sprinkled naturally throughout? Check. Links from related resource sites? Check. Beard?

Ah ha! The secret of search optimization that no one else is giving up! You always hear about content, and links, and blogging, and updating, yada yada whatever. But you see all these guys doing really big things with search, and you think "there's gotta be something more" and there is! Beards! If you're a guy, your chances of success in search dramatically improve with facial hair. Think about it - if you're online pouring over hundreds of sites researching keywords and linking patterns and the like, you need something to stroke. If you shave, you'll only be rubbing scruff when you find yourself still glued to your keyboard 10 hours later. And I won't even get on the distractions that might arise if you start stroking other stuff (like your forehead or something, where's your mind?). Enter the beard or goatee.


Photos, clockwise from top left: Link Lov-ah Andy Hagans letting you know where his strength comes from; Roger BKA Martinibuster at Webmaster World striking a pose; Todd Malicoat of Stuntdubl hitting us with the partial goatee; Matt Cutts goes gorilla on Greg Boser proclaiming "my facial hair is better than yours"; Barry Schwartz of RustyBrick smiles, knowing the 2 guys behind him don't stand a chance

Somewhere along the way your beard will start to inspire creativity and a fresh new perspective on content development. If you're snacking late at night it may even provide entertainment as you brush crumbs out of it. None of the guys at SES would let me rub their beards for good luck, so I don't know how the magic of the beard works. However, if you've followed the beginner's guide to SEO, and read the books and still can't quite get your mojo going, ditch the razor. Does it work? The proof is in the pictures.




Technorati tags: rand fishkin, matt cutts, ammon johns, martinibuster, todd malicoat, greg boser, andy hagans, bearded men, secret seo, instant+credibility