Hello Stranger

It's been a few months since I've given all 2 of my loyal audience any search boy eye candy. For that I really do apologize, and not just because I'm about to ask for a favor.

For much of this year I've been splitting a good portion of my time between client work and my own entrepreneurial endeavors. The client work has actually been more in the business development arena, so to compensate the bulk of the entrepreneurial endeavor has been spent creating a vertical search engine. I'm not nerd enough to handle that challenge on my own, so in addition to trying to structure development, filters, rules and such, I've been trying to get into the VC game. I still have a way to go, but do have a few friends who've committed to giving me a small start (thank you BL and AM).

But, what does that have to do with sexy search boys and search ladies to love?

NOTHING! And there's where I need your help. Yes, you! (I'm not sure of this guy's name, and I didn't have time to send the pic to my lab, but I've got a pink lipstick stamp with his name on it ;-))



I'll be up to my eyes in work for a client project that's going to last through at least mid-January. And I'm really, really, really (really!) disappointed that I won't be able to make PubCon OR SES Chicago. Not.one.sexy.search.lovefest.conference.

No playing spot the hooker (hi Joe!), which I'm sure would be an exhaustive, championship level competition in Vegas. No tallying of socks on doors. No fookin' Dave N. No pretty princesses (hi Neil!). Really, I'm only cheered by the hope that this year will bring one of the best comic recaps yet (Hi Rebecca! No pressure).

I don't know who can take Danny's place as sexy SEO boy of the year. Seriously, who else is this comfortable with their hotness?


Gotta love when he plays the innocent SEO boy next door.


But if I were at SES or PubCon, I'd damn sure try to find that guy. I want to get off to a good start in 2008, and there's no better way than with a calendar.


Jim Boykin agrees. Kim isn't so sure, but she smiled to make me feel better about the idea anyway. :-)

So that brings us to this little favor. If you're at PubCon or SES, help me find the 2008 Sexy SEO Calendar Boys. You know how I like 'em - signature style, plenty of experience on top, master baiters and just the right touch of nerd hot.

Whichever conference you attend, don't be afraid to whip out the camera. Guys, work it and give me your hottest poses. The 12 most sizzling SEOs will appear in a limited edition calendar for 2008. If selected, your prize is that I'll probably be too embarrassed to bother you in person at any future conferences.

So get the tiaras and tank tops out, dust off the signature suits and let's make it work!

All photos by Li Evans, who is in no way responsible for the craziness of the author's interpretations

The Sexy SEO Man of April Is....

Jason McCabe Calacanis

Why?
1. From the moment he confessed to not understanding or seeing value in the search industry - at a search marketing conference - it was obvious there was something different about this guy. Too many presenters these days are well informed on the topics they speak about.

2. He's not letting any silly statistics or factual proof cloud his judgment. I like guys who operate on misconceptions and emotional reactions rather than evidence. Most search geeks are busy wasting their time on numbers and analysis of what works and why. It's sooo much more time efficient to form an opinion first and explain away anything that contradicts it later.

3. He encourages you to stalk him. Finally, something that explains the purpose of Twitter (nice try, Li)

4. And the most important reason why Jason Calacanis is the Sexy SEO Boy of the Month is....

because on a day like today, there simply is no other candidate.

Starting to climb the hill

I moved to one of the only countries on the planet that still considered me a youth once I passed the 18-24 category in demographic surveys, and tomorrow it all comes to an end. There's nowhere left to go (I've checked).

I know I owe you all a lot of sexy search guys, and some ladies I love as well, but this is just a quick note to say that it probably won't happen this weekend. Very soon though.

In lieu of presents and retirement plan brochures, please send conference photos, search stud videos and Dave Naylor because something tells me he'd be fun at a party.

Randomness Vol. 2

I promise, sexy search guys appearing shortly. But first a few random musings.

Slippery Balls and Underperformance

The Superbowl on satellite is not anywhere as exciting as the network broadcast. While the bacon cheeseburger and fries made me feel at home in Paris, the commercial quality reminded me I wasn't. It's bad enough that da Bears lost (I still love you all, nobody else has a song and dance to celebrate the Superbowl and that counts for something), but add to that crappy UK commercials (I saw the US ones via AOL, and while they weren't exciting they were a LOT better than what was running on Sky) and super random commentary to replace the commercials.

How random is super random? Super random is Don Johnson doing commentary. Somehow Don Johnson being on Miami Vice makes him an expert on all things Miami, and even though he has no real sports experience, that's close enough since the game is in Miami. Was J-Lo busy? She knows a lot about Miami, and she could've offered commentary on the wardrobe choices. Probably would've required less time with hair and makeup too.

What was really fun was seeing the Japanese Action version of the Superbowl. The sound loop was either a few seconds ahead or behind (not even any consistency!) so no ones mouths matched their words.

Apparently the fan coverage was on a 1 year delay, since there were interviews with Cheeseheads and Steelers fans. Apparently the only requirement for giving expert commentary was the ability to name one (any one) NFL team. For all the sports geeks who have a fantasy football team, send me the name. Next year I'll go to London and convince them that your team made the playoffs and give some expert feedback.

Pork and Boobs

Apparently the National Pork Board has come to realize that this isn't as popular a combination as they first thought.

After flexing the power of the blogosphere, the NPB realized that it's harshly worded cease and desist letter was probably a bit over the top and is working with Jennifer Laycock to resolve the problem. I kind of wonder what the resolution is going to be. Are they going to take classes on parody? View pictures of pork and breasts so there's no future confusion?

Anyhow, I'm glad that bloggers have demonstrated the influence of common sense on the web (Team Nerd!)

Not that I'm completely against the pork people. I think it's time someone took a stand against all those perverted babies who won't stop grabbing their moms' chests. Who do they think they are, babies or something?

And for February

Sexy SEO Boys of the Month will be posted tomorrow. Was that a typo? Not at all. Multiple sexy SEOs heading your way again.

And what about all of the great suggestions for the Sexy SEO Boy of the Month? The ladies are so good that I just can't decide. So you all (all 2 of you who read regularly) are going to help me decide. March's Sexy SEO candidates have been decided by an elite few fellow fangirls. The winner will be determined by a top semi-secret poll. Think of it as Fangirl's attempt to go 2.0

For now, I'm headed off to enjoy some grease and cheer for the Sexy Superbowl Team of the Month - da Bears!


Super Bowl Shuffle - video powered by Metacafe

Goooooooooo Chicago!

Sexy SEO of the Year

Am I that far into the future? Nope, but I didn't have a chance to dedicate January to my Sexy SEO Man of the Year



Mr. Danny Sullivan. I really don't need any reasons, but I have 5 which will be coming later this evening. For the rest of 2007, I'll be featuring a different DSul photo and fun fact.

Hot Headshots

10e20's Chris Winfield Captures The SEO Ladies Attention

I happened to be strolling around the lovely garden of search engine marketing websites written by women, and what should I find? A lovely man called forth to the SEOFanGirl blog universe by Kim Krause Berg and Liana Evans for acceptance as a possible SEO Man of the Month candidate.

They say he is much handsomer in person. Exactly how, dear ladies, do you know this, I ask, with jealous envy? I would like to test this out personally of course. Does he like older women?

Ah, but I see he is engaged. Pourquoi? No matter. We shall still adore him, in the quiet confines of our own silly minds and bleeding hearts. And who is this man of muscle, mystery and marketing magic?

Chris Winfield, of 10e20.com.

Tamar started the ball rolling with her
Women of Internet Marketing Wednesday Part 8 interview, when she admitted, "He looks better than his avatar picture!". One has to be most careful in SEO circles, with what they say.

It doesn't take much to get us going.

Anyone up for Kissbait? Hugbait? Hunkwithnoshirtbait?

Sigh. That is just one lucky dog.

Fangirl Random Links

Between research, reports and posting, I usually come across something that reminds me of why I'll never be 100% productive if I'm connected to the internet.

Just in case you need some distraction, I thought I'd share:

http://seoblackhat.com/2007/01/09/macbook-pro/
I guess this is where that saying came from: once you go Mac you never go back.

http://www.seomoz.org/blogdetail.php?ID=1633
Rebecca posts some master linkbait (couldn't resist) at the moz

http://crazydaysandnights.blogspot.com/
Not related to SEO, but this has become my biggest online distraction. Who's doing what in Hollywood? Are you sure it's who you think it is? Should you even be thinking about this stuff? Lots of questions, and sometimes that's pretty addictive

Who Moved My Cheese? The SEO version

So in between Dinner #1 (Chinese) and Dinner #2 (Pizza), something interesting happened. No, no one got any devastating news (what usually happens when you gorge yourself on both of those in less than a 6 hour window).

On the train, one previously mentioned Man of Search, found a lonely piece of cheese on the train. The Cheese was minding it's own individually wrapped business, perhaps going to meet a slice of ham, or hoping to happen upon a piece of bread, when it found itself attached to the bottom of a sexy SEO.

I like that kind of bold move, so I invited the Cheese to Dinner 2, where it cozied up to a few more search sexpots.

Now here's where you get involved. I'm pleased to announce the first ever Fangirl contest!

The first person to correctly identify all 4 cheezy bottoms will win...

A LARGE CHEESE PIZZA (you were expecting something else?)! After Neil and Aaron's experiences I'm applying for a scholarship to Shoemoney U. If I get in the next contest prize will come with breadsticks and a 2-liter.



So this one may be easy to guess


And this guy made it into a previous picture


But this one did not


And you'll have to use some super sleuthing to find out which stylish searcher is walking away with the cheese here.

The contest is open until someone correctly names all 4 cheese movers.

I know I'm not the only one studying the pant selection (that's my story, I'm sticking to it) and fashion choices of search studs. Go back to Flickr, browse through old photos, and put your photo search skills on display.

Good luck!

The Wrapup

I feel like I've been living in meetings, and I've been requesting that invitations for social events come over in CSV files or PowerPoint format, so I'm happy to finally get to the last pictures from the last SES, which along with a few blogs, have kept things interesting for me.

Onto the final fun

On the same day as the lunch with all the Ladies I Love, I also organized a pizza party for the Studs of SEO, because they give me a warm fuzzy feeling, and I thought a good slice of Chicago style pizza would give them a warm greasy feeling (close enough).

Between lunch and pizza, I took some time to admire listen to Danny's keynote. I was okay until someone only two rows in front of me asked a question. If you'll notice from the 100% unretouched photo below, there's a search engine halo that surrounds Danny, and little beams of search sexiness that bounce off of him when he sheds light on some important conundrum (yes! I found a reason to say conundrum). I later introduced myself to Danny, who was nice enough to pretend like he likes the collages I do for him. I'm hoping to be called in as the official headshot designer for Search Engine Expo.



So after Danny got me to leave him alone by promising he'd try to make pizza, I ran into Rand and Rebecca in the lobby where they invited me to have some Chinese with Li Evans, Rob Kerry, David and Irma Wallace, Ken Jurina, David Temple, Ward Tongen (the real Fangirl) and other hot SEOs. Chinese, and pizza and two dinner gatherings full of search studs? I just couldn't turn it down.I thought Rebecca was with me when I was gushing about the black hat guys, but apparently her mind was on other things.

While Dinner #1 wrapped up on time, there were more SEOs than cab drivers that night, so the group ended up experiencing the joys of the Chicago Transit Authority. Lots of train stops, heat lamps that just manage to prevent your frostbite from going to hypothermia, cheese...

So, about half an hour after the start time, we finally made it to Pizzeria Due, which serves up delicious (had to stop myself from making that 2.0) Chicago style pizza from Pizzeria Uno (the original's in Chicago, if you have a franchise in your city). My heart started to warm not only at the thought of what Chinese and Chicago style pizza would do to it, but at the site of all the internet superstars in attendance.




There was Todd and search hottie to watch, Everett Sizemore. Todd's mind was definitely in other places (pick your favorite distraction), but Everett was happy to see me. I asked him to show me the search guns, but outside of the photos he sends his friends it seems he's a bit shy.


From left, Phil Maher, Rand the Man , Curtis Dueck, Ken "Some Guy" (I am somebody!) Jurina, Keith Levenson and Tony Wright


and at the other end of the table, Planet Andrea, David and Irma Wallace, Jen Sense, Mystery Man and Shoemoney. Even though Planet Andrea, Jen and Shoemoney aren't technically SEO stars, they appeal to my love of internet marketing stars in general. While she doesn't have the merchandising appeal or the cartoon rep, Jen does have a love for Disney and the name Jenstar appeals to my fondness of stars and hearts. (Email me Jen, I think I have an idea for the merchandising!)


And look, Shoemoney even got Cameron's mind away from Todd.