The Men of SEO

A fan blog devoted to the men of SEO. Making search engine optimization sexier and more entertaining.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

It's Always The Quiet Ones

I guess it's time for me to show my SEO Fan Girl Training! I've been studying feverishly with my "Teach", SEO FanGirl, and I hope that the Hot SEO Guy I'm featuring here is done justice with my meager skills.

There's this really quiet, polite and very respectful SEO guy who doesn't seem to get all the love like Rand (Fishkins or what are they called?) or Matt (Cuttletts) gets, but boy does he deserve it! This guy gives us photo trivia fun, wish lists and more! This SEO hottie makes Ranking in Search Engine his business and does it without all the flocks of fangirls following him (we all just admire him from afar!).

I've also discovered, and I'm sure of this (I'm just waiting for the DNA test results to come back), that his long lost brother is Ron Perlman. I remembering adoring Ron Perlman when he played Vincent in Beauty and the Beast, and then as he moved onto other shows and movies (yes, I think I'm showing my age) from The Magnificant Seven to the new Hellboy Series, Ron's a guy who can make a gal's heart flutter - just like Dave.

Ron Perlman is Dave's long lost brother

Dave Wallace has this wonderful lovely wife Irma (she's one lucky gal!), I wonder if she knows she's got a hubbie who's got a brother in Hollywood? Regardless, Irma and Dave are just the sweetest couple at the SES conferences - watching from afar its so fun to see them together. It's also what makes Dave such a great choice to nominate for SEO Man/Boy of the Month - for any month (please "Teach" can we have Dave??)!

Dave tackles all sorts of issues by making them look easy! I read about what he did with that car place who stiffed him - the SEO super hero, flexed his muscles and WHAM! Just look what happens when you make Dave mad!

Oh wait, that is his brother *hehe*. Either way - don't make Dave mad - Make him an SEO Man of the Month ... please! :)

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Thursday, December 21, 2006

Watch Out, SEO Boys! I'm Watching You Closer Than Ralphie's Dad at a Leg Lamp!

So you thought that once Fangirl became unmasked at SES Chicago, the game would be over, eh? No more embarrassing blog posts about the hott (yes, so hot you all get two t's) fellas of SEO? Oh, silly boys...

That's right, as Fangirl noted, she's recruited fresh sets of eyes to do some spyin' and bloggin' for her, which means that no conference is safe! No party shall be uncovered! No session unattended! (Well, maybe some, on account of too much partyin'...) Fangirl's almighty power will only grow! GROW!!!

Uh, that being said, have a happy holiday. And remember...I'll be watching...

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

What We Learned About Our SEO Boys From Blog Tag

I don't know about you but I've had a blast running to every blog tag post written by a male SEO. There was a list in my head of who I hoped was tagged, from the smoldering John Scott to mysterious Nick Wilson to the be-still-my-heart Aaron Wall.

Blog tag is way better than posters on my bedroom wall and fake interviews by handlers about a guy's favorite color and brand of jeans. Like I care what he's wearing! I do care about what I don't know about my favorite guys. Learning about what they love is sweet. Makes me wanna run to the picture of Rand wearing a Santa hat and pinch him.

If you read all the 5 Things You Don't Know About Me posts going around, can you guess who wrote some of these?

"Sometimes, on the rare occasion I am being snowed on (and when I think nobody is watching), I run around trying to catch snowflakes on my tongue."

"In high school and college I was a pretty serious goth. Lots of makeup, all black clothing, the whole 9 yards. I varyingly had extremely long hair (to the lower back, usually) and a completely shaved head."

"Have a crush on Lisa Barone and Rebecca Kelley."

"I used to be on a powerlifting team." Huzzah!

"I was a hippy."

"To this day, I can crack open heads of lettuce in ways that will stun anyone who isn't a fast food professional."

"You can trace my ancestors back to Sir Christopher Wren."

"I played defensive tackle for my high school football team." Another huzzah!

"I was a nuclear reactor operator before doing SEO." Quite a leap there, eh?

"I'm an insufferable romantic."

So am I.

So am I.

Many thanks for the beautiful men of SEO. The more you bare your souls, the more we love you.


Thursday, December 14, 2006

Fangirl is expanding

Nope, this isn't a reference to my waistline, though all the good greasy American delights I've been enjoying are helping there.

While at SES, I had a sit-down with a great groups of search ladies. Out of this group, I begged, cried, pleaded, and cajoled an elite few to contribute to the Men of SEO. There were so many search studs to admire in Chicago, and I quickly realized if I didn't get advisors I might miss out on a few. Over the next few days, keep your eyes peeled for fellow fangirls posting about the ranking hotties that give them googlebumps.

A quickie

The rest of the posts are coming. Your favorite Fangirl isn't finding it so easy to work in two time zones from this side of the Atlantic though, and is pretty much chained to the inbox.

Looking over comments though, Andy Beal thought his shot wasn't the most flattering. I have to agree. I mean, Andy looks fine, but his true star quality isn't apparent. So, to preserve the sexy, I present a more appropriate portrait of my favorite Southern British Sexy SEO.

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Sunday, December 10, 2006

The Conference, the Dinner, the After Party

Back to the reason you really check out this blog - Sexy SEOs! Without further delay, the wrap-up of my coverage of the SES Chicago social events.

She didn't hatbait me when I first met her, but Li Evans introduced me to search stud Rob Kerry, better known as Evil Green Monkey. He is wearing green, but didn't seem evil or monkeylike. Though he is from England, where 87.4% of SEOs are blackhats*, so maybe that's where the evil monkeying around comes in.

*Source: A friend of a friend, who once overheard a joke about most blackhat SEOs residing in the UK

Also at the conference, I got to meet Matt McGee who reminds businesses that it's not the size of your search campaign, but what you do with it.

The conference started to wind down, and stomachs started talking which meant dinner! The transmitter chip I slipped into Rand's pocket kicked in and extended an invite to join Todd Malicoat and approximately 19 other well ranked hotties for steak and pasta at Gene & Georgetti's. Cutie Cameron Olthuis (pictured above) and the eye candy around the table kept me distracted for a bit, but between snapping photos I managed to finish off about half of the spaghetti I ordered. Even though I was in Chicago, apparently my appetite was still in France.

The other half of the PronetAdvertising SEO (hey Neil, if you could get a link from SEO Fangirl... ;-)) dynamic duo, Neil Patel. He's pictured next to Rebecca's hair.

At the head of the table was master marketing pilgrim, Andy Beal. Now Andy's recognized for his ability to help grow search marketing companies, and insights on search marketing, but I think he's far underappreciated for his accent. In what has to be the coolest mashup ever, Andy's accent is about 40% English and 60% North Carolinan.

Also seated next to me were Jarrod Hunt and Troy Ireland of Text Link Brokers. I can't remember the name of the guy in the middle (sorry, I'm bad with names) but next dinner I promise to stop drooling over the optimizers long enough to get cards and learn all their names. In the middle is Scott Orth from Selytics (thanks David), who actually did give me a card, and will now be getting lots lof fan notes from me. Jarrod and Troy treated everyone to dinner.

Smoking hot search guys treating me to dinner? I must be dreaming. Further convincing me that this was all a dream....

I started seeing double. What's better than one Rand? Two Rands. Now everyone - myself included - thinks Rand is some kind of blogging, linkbaiting, text tweaking , stylish search genius. And he might be, but not without help. To the untrained observer, the guy in red looks like your average bearded babe, but THEN

we highlight the photo and it's Rand's doppelganger! When Andy told Rand that he should work to expand the SEOmoz brand past a single person's reputation, Rand decided cloning was the way to go. This clone, who I'm going to call Sand Gishkin, discreetly observed the happenings at the table the entire time. In a Men of SEO exclusive, you now know how Rand is really able to get so much done, and still maintain his rock star style. BTW Rand, some ladies I love would like to know if Sand has a Mystery Guest.

After dinner, it was time to party!

In the cab over to the TrueLocal party I rode with Ben Wills, rising social media superstar and winner of Andy's search marketing scholarship, Andy B., Todd and Neil Patel. In the cab, someone said something about SEO Fangirl. Being the only girl in the cab, I think most people figured out my alternate identity. But not Neil. In a bit of fun that lasted 15 minutes, but could've lasted the entire evening, Neil looked straight at me, and almost believed me when I suggested Fangirl might be Jill or Lisa (he already guessed Rebecca). No biggie, I bet Neil is the search stud least likely to ever reveal a movie or TV show spoiler.

At the True Local party, Todd had the magic name, and 5 guests. Unfortunately, Todd's such an SEO magnet that he showed up with about 10 or 11 people from dinner. Due to the popularity of the party, the doorman actually reduced that to 3, and told Todd to choose his top 2, and 1 onebox guest. Not wanting to make that choice and forever hear "I thought I was your number one" from rejected guests, he went with 7 or 8 search hotties (and me) down the street to another blues bar.

Cameron told me I'm famous now (woo hoo!), Neil told Cameron "I know who SEO Fangirl is!"

Jarrod points me out to Neil and says "it's her!"

To which Neil replied "CShel?" Just funnin' with ya Neil.

Unfazed by the lights reflecting from his dance partner's shiny top, it only took one beer before Jarrod turned into a dancing machine.

After a few songs from Chicago Music Award nominee Joanna Connor, we headed back to the True Local party to catch up with the search party.

Marie from Bruce Clay UK moves in on search studs Joe Morin and Troy Ireland.

After a few more songs, and for some a few more rounds, most people headed back to catch up on sleep and prepare for the next day of the conference.

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Kiss without the makeup

Before I went to SES Chicago, Hawaii SEO Dave Zuls asked if introducing myself in person would be like KISS without the makeup. Well, I'm hoping I look a little bit better than Gene Simmons without makeup, but I do think there's something to be said for a public character.

I wanted to be fair to those who I've profiled, and give them a chance to throw tomatoes, processed cheese (what's with the cheese? Coming soon), etc. if they didn't like/agree with anything I posted.

However, there is something to be said for cute cartoon representatives. Walt Disney will always be a great animator, but people first fall in love with Mickey Mouse. I am not a great SEO humorist, but people probably find SEO Fangirl as a characrter more entertaining than the person who created her. So, if you really want to know who Fangirl is, ask the people in the pictures. At subsequent conferences they can point you to me (though there's not much of a risk of me being lost in the crowd) and I'd love for you to say hi.

Though it might be a bit more embarassing now that they know how to find me, there are plenty more Sexy SEOs I'll be spotlighting, lots more Ladies I Love, and the general shenanigans you've come to expect from the Men of SEO. As Jarrod from Text Link Brokers reminded me, there are plenty of SEO experts, but only one true SEO goof-off (aww, thanks Jarrod).

Friday, December 08, 2006

Search Engine Studs - Day 1

Day one? Just a tad behind. I'm finding that despite being a native Chicagoan, I even think it's too cold and have been burying myself underneath blankets at every opportunity. But, I'm out, and a little nippy, but happily nerding it up at a table at Borders. On to the good stuff!

Unlike most of the crowd at SES, my first day wasn't until Tuesday, December 5th. After spending some quality time with fellow passengers making it through customs, I got to hang out a little longer while I schlepped my pink suitcases (the pink accessory fascination is real) through O'Hare to the airport shuttle station. Even though I was excited to see some search cuties, the pillows in my hotel room seemed slightly (just a smidgen) more appealing, so I gave in and slept through most of Monday. I did wake up long enough to get a good, greasy patty melt. In the few months I've been in Paris, part of my jelly belly has gone missing. I'll find out soon if 2 weeks in Chicago is enough time to get it back.

Once I made it to the conference hotel, I got my badge and started to poke around the exhibition hall. One of the first people I spotted was

Dana Todd, who had a fan gathering already forming around her, but when it comes to SEO fandom, I've got things covered. Okay, not really, but she was nice enough to ditch the guys hanging around the SEMPO booth (haha!) for a few minutes.

In the press room she introduced me to

Mona Elesseily, another search lady I love. I actually recognized her from the Web Marketing Today newsletter I receive, where she and Andrew Goodman of Page Zero are the Paid Search contributors. Then she reminded me that she was one of the ladies in bed with Danny Sullivan. Hussy! Joking of course, because I'm sure she can get me an invite to the next search pajama party.

Though I hear the real challenge is not into getting Danny into bed, but getting him to turn the computer off (hi Anonymous).

Though Dana and Mona are both leading ladies of search, I quickly caught site of an orange suit, and a pink tie and lost focus.

Aaaah! It's my Sexy SEO Boy of September (and November), Mikkel de Mib Svendsen. And he's got Some Guy with him! I hear Mikkel traded shirts with Some Guy aka Ken Jurina, so that he could catch my eye. And it totally worked.

"No, I don't have time to talk about your rankings. I'm discussing style tips right now. You don't get a name in this industry by just talking about the industry"

Ken demonstrates his Matrix-style marketing hand to Mikkel. Faster than a clicking camera, this is the type of skill other SEOs aspire to have.

Even though Ken wore my favorite color, I couldn't help but notice a streak of yellow. Was it... it couldn't be.. it was!

My original Sexy SEO Boy of the Month! In my mind I saw the beach background behind him, and palm trees... then, I saw Rebecca who looked like she'd help Rand make a run for it if I stood there too long.

I actually stood there long enough for them to figure out my identity. Apparently, the Cuttlets are the only organized fan base, so I was a little obvious. That, and apparently someone started dropping hints about my true identity on Sunday (hi Someone).

No harm though. Since I beat all of the other Fishkin fans (first!), Rand and Rebecca went back to the exhibition hall with me.

Rebeca and I lost track of Rand, but made it around to some other sexy SEOs, so I was happy. At the Review Me booth, I spotted

Bearded Babe, Andy Hagans. You'll have to forgive the blurry picture. Andy started stroking his beard and I got all excited and had trouble just pushing the button. I started to explain that it was the first time something like that had ever happened to me, and Andy just told me that it happens to everyone and I shouldn't feel bad.

Also hanging out at the Review Me booth was
Sex Goddess Kim Krause
Berg, who is a lady I love, but also a true search super hero for making it to so many sessions despite not feeling 100%. She also blinded Danny with the flash from her camera (or was it the magic wristlets?). Kim, call me next time! You set off the flash, I'll get him into the van and we can take him back to the secret search lair.

After walking around a bit more, we caught up with Rand again. He spent some time talking with

Chris Boggs and Barry Schwartz, for Webmaster Radio. I like this picture because it looks like Barry's up to something, and Chris looks reeeeally interested. Could they be checking out the Women of SEO? (promise, that blog isn't me)

I'm not sure, but Chris offered me quite a bit of swag after he finished, so I think I may be onto something. Either that, or he's trying to get me to overlook the fact that he's not a bearded babe and giving me stuff to compensate for the lack of facial hair. That works.

After that we hung around for a little bit. Someone came up to Rebecca and went "you're part of Rand Fishkin, right?" Rebecca confirmed that the surgery went well, and that she's no longer conjoined to the search portion of Rand's brain.

After that I tagged along with Rand and Rebecca to join a long table full of Search Superstuds at dinner, which is a part of the evening which deserves it's own post.

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Thursday, December 07, 2006

Search Engine Sexy!

That's what SES should stand for. I'm just getting back after another night hanging out with some of the biggest search rock stars on the web. There was so much sexy going on over the past few days, that the batteries in my camera are depleted (they just couldn't keep up), so most pictures will be coming tomorrow. Food, drinks, merriment, cheese, butts. These things are related, just stay tuned.

By the way, I'd just like to say that Rand, my inaugural sexy SEO boy, is by far the biggest jerk I've ever met.


Nope (gotcha), not at all. But before I gush, I had to throw in something so Mystery Guest doesn't come looking for me at the next conference. Rand was kind enough to invite me to hang out with some search studs I've been admiring from the back of sessions, behind bushes, etc. I knew he was hot, but he's also a lot of fun and one of the nicest guys I've met in a while. And he has a clone (pictures, next post). Who can top that?

Your favorite Fangirl is off to bed for now, but I can't say enough about how much I enjoyed meeting all the SEO superstars in my hometown.


Friday, December 01, 2006

The SEO Wives Club

Nope, I'm not a part of it (yet) but one of the search studs who'll be joining me for pizza in Chicago (hi Barry ;-)) has asked about guests. If you've been invited to chow down on a few slices, you're also welcome to invite guests. Now, while I'd prefer these guests to be studly SEO hunks who know how to work the big 10, or sexy search employees who inspire cutt out dolls, wives and girlfriends are welcome too.

Though smokin' SEOs and search staffing studs are even more welcome.

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Sexy SEO Boy of December

It's a Men of SEO first. For December's Sexy SEO Boy of the Month I couldn't narrow things down to just one.

So, I present to you the Sexy SEO Boys of the Month: the Black Hatters.

Since most Blackhat Babes keep a very low profile, I had to turn to a celebrity montage. No doubt, these stylish guys were inspired by the bad boys of SEO, and they're pretty hot so I figure it balances out.

Aside from the influence on celebrity style, why am I drooling over guys from the dark side? Though the techniques aren't intended for the long term, black hatters (well, the good ones) are on top of search engine twists and turns quicker than you can say exploit. Not only are they aware of the approved way to work the top 10, in usually a matter of days they're cranking out automated programs to take advantage of any loopholes.

If these guys can figure out how to take over a new technique for making it to the top that quickly and on a consistent basis, you've got to wonder about the other techniques they can come up with.

In no particular order, my favorite Sexy Boys in Black Hats

Aaron Wall
While his SEO Book actually teaches good clean White Hat strategy, he does maintain the funny and informative site. Plus, he was the one of the few guys I could find with enough pictures to start a decent scrapbook for. I'll be seeing more of him on my board of babes.

Dave Naylor
Admittedly, Dave has other pictures besides this one. But I've got a thing for cute cartoon versions of people, so this is what I'm going with.

Dave regularly spreads the black hat love with detailed posts on redirects, shifty code and other things that you probably shouldn't do, but want to know about anyway. And I'm sure he doesn't need to do any Viagra to keep his rankings up.


While his avatar would lead you to believe that there's a little dental work and waxing in order, Quadszilla has some undeniable black hat sexiness going on (just ask his Brazillian swimsuit model wife).

For those curious about getting some search engine quickies going and opening up the latest loophole, he gives out plenty of blog posts that lots of people Digg. If you're past curious and want the hardcore codes, tips and exploits he'll introduce you to his friends at his paid forum. Aah, sexy, mysterious and friends who are too. How could I resist?

Earl Grey
No avatar, not a trace on Flickr, or any other image search, Earl Grey is by far the most mysterious Sexy SEO I've tried to devote space to. I did find the above picture of a Mango Earl Grey parfait, and being one with a huge sweet tooth that was enough to distract me from the frustration of not finding any images of the man himself. There was also this adorable kitten on Flickr, so I decided I wouldn't let the lack of photos stock my admiration.

Granted it's difficult to properly stalk out admire Earl without the usual hot avatars and pictures, but just by association he's sweet and adorable - and he's got a bad boy side. ::Swoon:: I'll have to keep an eye on this one.

Geoffrey "G-Man" 67

Here's a ban who's black hat and not afraid to show it! I'm a little disappointed that he thinks girls are evil, but he's clearly referring to girls without an appreciation for the smoldering art of site optimization, right?

I'll assume that's the case. Aside from his willingness to bare his quick and dirty techniques, he does it in not one, not two, but three places! Catch him spicing things up on the already insanely sexy SEOmoz blog, more recently at his own blog, and doing it for a private audience in the Syndk8 Forums. Breakin' the (search engine law) and not afraid to flaunt it. Aah, how dangerously tempting.

Beyond trying to get a taste of the eye candy, your favorite Fangirl (or me, in case you have another favorite fangirl) doesn't dabble in the dark arts much. While it would probably give me a bad girl component, I really just find it to be too much work. I mean, there are only so many hours in the day, and some of those need to be dedicated to admiring new search studs. Redirects, mastering redirects, keeping up with algorithm holes would just take away from that. And I know what's important.

So, there they are, my Sexy SEO Boys of December. Expecting someone else? When I have lunch this Wednesday with some of the ladies I love, January's Sexy SEO Boy of the Month will be one of the topics of conversation.

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